I (36F) own a property with my parents in a major Asian city that’s been in our family for three generations. A few years ago, my parents considered selling it, but instead I bought out their share at a family-friendly price. They were happy with the arrangement because they still had a place to stay whenever they visited, and I kept the property in the family.
Most of the year the house is rented out.
About two years ago, my husband Daniel (38M) asked if we could help his younger brother Ethan (34M) and Ethan’s wife Jenna (33F). They had hit financial problems and needed somewhere stable while they got back on their feet.
We agreed to let them live in the property temporarily and completely rent-free so they could save money.
Temporary has now become two years.
Whenever my husband and I travel back (usually once a year for about two weeks), we ask them to clear out the primary bedroom during our stay. The first time this happened, there was pushback and excuses until my husband finally reminded them that this wasn’t a shared vacation rental, we were allowing them to live there as a favor.
This year, my husband and I weren’t planning to visit, but my parents (both in their 70s) were.
I gave Ethan and Jenna six months’ notice of the dates.
Everything seemed fine.
Then last week I got a call from my parents after they arrived.
Instead of having the primary bedroom available, Ethan and Jenna told them they were hosting friends and the only sleeping option left in the house was the home office with a pull-out couch.
For two people in their seventies who had just completed a long international flight.
My parents didn’t want conflict. They also didn’t want to create problems between me and my in-laws, so they quietly booked a hotel instead.
I was furious.
Not because of the room itself, but because of the entitlement.
My parents helped keep that property in the family. I bought it. We let Ethan and Jenna live there for free for years. And somehow they felt comfortable prioritizing houseguests over the actual owners.
I told Daniel he needed to handle it because I knew if I called, the conversation would not go well.
He called Ethan and told him they needed to start making arrangements to move out.
Since then, Ethan and Jenna have sent me texts and voice notes calling me controlling and heartless. My in-laws have also reached out asking us to show grace because they’re “still trying to get established.”
At this point, I honestly don’t care.
I feel like we already gave grace. For two years.
So AITAH for expecting them to give up the primary bedroom and supporting my husband asking them to move out?