I (17M now) really need some outside perspective because I don’t know if I handled this the right way.
When I was 15, I went to a pool party at someone’s house. It was supposed to be a normal, fun night—music, people swimming, everyone just hanging out. There were a mix of people there, including some older individuals I didn’t really know.
At some point during the night, one of the older women (24F) started focusing a lot of attention on me. At first, I didn’t think much of it. I assumed she was just being friendly.
But things started to feel off pretty quickly.
She kept getting too close, making comments that made me uncomfortable, and crossing personal boundaries in a way I didn’t know how to respond to. I tried to brush it off and move away, but she kept pulling me back into conversations or situations where I felt stuck.
I didn’t know how to react. I didn’t want to make a scene, and I honestly wasn’t even sure if I was “allowed” to feel uncomfortable about it. I just remember feeling confused and overwhelmed.
After that night, I told one of my friends what had happened.
Her reaction completely threw me off.
She laughed and said something like, “You did good,” like it was something to be proud of.
That response really messed with my head.
It made me question whether what happened was actually wrong, or if I was just overthinking it. Over time, I stopped talking about it completely. There were even moments where I didn’t fully trust my own memory or feelings about the situation.
Fast forward two years.
I met a new group of friends, and for the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely comfortable opening up. After getting close to them, I finally told them about what happened at that pool party.
It felt like a huge weight had been lifted. They listened, supported me, and I truly believed they had my back.
Until yesterday.
I found out that, without telling me, they went and contacted the same person involved in what happened to me.
When I confronted them, they said they just wanted to “hear her side of the story” to make sure there wasn’t any misunderstanding.
That completely broke me.
Because to me, that didn’t feel like support—it felt like doubt.
If they believed me, why go behind my back and talk to her? Why not come to me first?
It made me feel like everything I trusted about them wasn’t real, and it brought back a lot of the same confusion and self-doubt I felt back then.
I reacted pretty strongly.
I cut them off and blocked them everywhere.
One of them later reached out and said they didn’t mean to hurt me, and that they thought they were “looking out for my well-being.”
But I don’t understand how going to the person who crossed my boundaries—without even telling me—could be considered looking out for me.
Now I’m sitting here wondering if I overreacted.
Part of me feels like I had every right to protect myself and my boundaries. But another part of me is questioning whether I should have handled it differently.
So… AITA for cutting them off?