I (26F) lost 100 lbs, and while I’m incredibly proud of that, the loose skin has honestly been miserable. I constantly get painful rashes, sores, and irritation from the skin rubbing together, and it’s started seriously affecting my quality of life.
For years, I talked with my boyfriend (33M) about eventually getting loose skin removal surgery, but I wanted to wait until I hit my goal weight before spending that kind of money. We’re both teachers, so realistically any major surgery has to happen during summer break.
A couple months ago, my boyfriend decided to schedule strabismus surgery to correct his lazy eye and improve his depth perception. I fully supported him because I know it’ll improve his quality of life too.
Recently, though, my skin issues have gotten significantly worse now that I’ve officially reached my goal weight and have even more excess skin. I found out I could schedule my surgery for June 1st, which seemed ideal since it would give me the whole summer to recover before school starts again.
The problem is my boyfriend is upset because our surgeries would happen in the same month. He says I’m being selfish and inconsiderate for scheduling mine so close to his.
The thing is, I never expected him to cancel or delay his surgery, and I even arranged for my sister to come help take care of both of us during recovery. To me, it felt like the most practical timing for both of our situations.
What’s really hurting me is that I spent years supporting him, cheering him on, and never once making him feel guilty for wanting a surgery that would improve his life. But now that it’s my turn, suddenly I’m “selfish” for wanting relief from constant pain, sores, and discomfort?
I honestly don’t understand why he’s reacting so childishly about this. It’s not like I planned my surgery out of spite or to take attention away from him. I finally hit my goal weight after losing 100 lbs, my body is literally suffering, and this was the only realistic timeframe for recovery because of our jobs.
At this point I’m starting to feel hurt and resentful because instead of being happy for me or supportive, he’s acting like my health issue is somehow inconveniencing him. I’ve bent over backwards trying to make this work for both of us, and now I’m questioning if I’m actually doing something wrong or if he just can’t handle not being the center of attention for a month.
AITA?