I (31F) went on an 8-day trip and asked my cousin (32F) to dog-sit for me. We were very close growing up, but our relationship became strained over the years because of her alcoholism. The final straw for me was when she started taking her infant daughter to parties and getting blackout drunk. Recently, however, she got a job and seemed to be getting her life back on track, so I decided to trust her again.
My cousin lives with her parents and has a 4-year-old daughter. Since her job is close to my house and she loves my dogs, she agreed to stay at my place while I was away. One of my dogs has a medical issue and must be fed every eight hours or she gets sick, so I made it very clear that keeping the dogs fed and watered was a priority.
On the first night, my Ring camera showed my cousin arriving with her daughter. A few hours later, a man I had never seen before showed up. He rang the doorbell and, when she answered, angrily said, “I’ve called you 20 times!” She let him inside, and he stayed overnight. The next morning, my camera recorded him leaving.
I was extremely uncomfortable with this. I do not want strangers staying in my home, especially around my dogs, who are not comfortable with men. My cousin also has a boyfriend, so I was frustrated at being put in a position where I knew information I never wanted to know. Most importantly, her young daughter was present. Given my cousin’s history of drinking to the point of blacking out—and the fact that I saw her bring a case of beer into my house—I couldn’t stop thinking about the possibility of her drinking too much, passing out, and leaving her child alone with a stranger.
I immediately texted her and told her that bringing an unknown man into my home was a major breach of trust. She apologized and promised it would not happen again.
As the week went on, I noticed through my cameras that she was frequently away from the house for up to 15 hours at a time, which meant my dogs were not being fed on the schedule I had specifically asked her to follow. Then, on Friday evening around 6 p.m., she left and did not return until approximately 4 p.m. on Saturday. During that time, she ignored my texts, and I eventually had to arrange for someone else to check on the dogs. When my friend arrived, the dogs’ water bowls were empty.
When my cousin finally returned, I told her I had already arranged alternate care for the dogs and that she could leave the key and go.
The next day, my aunt and uncle began calling me ungrateful after hearing my cousin’s version of the story. They accused me of treating her badly and unfairly kicking her out.
At that point, I defended myself. I explained that she had brought a strange man into my home, neglected my dogs, and was now presenting herself as the victim. I also sent them the Ring camera footage showing the man arriving and leaving.
My cousin was furious and told me I was a terrible person for telling her parents. She even said I would end up alone because of my personality. I responded that repeatedly disrespecting the people who care about her was far more likely to leave her isolated.
I only told my aunt and uncle what happened after they confronted and criticized me based on an inaccurate version of events. If my cousin knew her actions were wrong and didn’t want her parents to find out, then she shouldn’t have done those things in the first place.