I honestly never imagined I’d be writing something like this, but I don’t know who else to talk to.
When I was 20, I met my ex. We were friends for years before we finally started dating about two and a half years ago. I thought I had found someone I could build a future with.
Last year, everything fell apart.
I discovered he had been cheating on me for almost our entire relationship with another woman he met through mutual friends. I ended things immediately and contacted her fiancé because I felt he deserved to know the truth too.
He called off their engagement after finding out.
The strange part was that she barely seemed upset. That changed once she realized my ex wasn’t actually wealthy.
A lot of what he had been showing off was mine. My grandmother left me a significant inheritance when she passed away, and throughout our relationship I had bought him expensive gifts. He even convinced his affair partner that the house and antique car I inherited from my grandfather belonged to him.
Looking back, I’m embarrassed by how badly I handled the breakup.
For nearly two months, I kept hoping he’d come back. I gave him money, answered every call, and kept trying to fix something that clearly couldn’t be saved. Every time he disappeared to be with her, I’d end up crying to my parents or friends, who would remind me that he wasn’t worth it.
Eventually, the other woman’s ex-fiancé reached out to me.
He told me she had been laughing about how desperate I looked chasing after a man who clearly didn’t care about me.
That completely broke me.
Instead of talking to my family again, I asked if he’d be willing to meet up. We grabbed food from a local food cart and ended up spending the entire day talking.
He shared his side of everything.
They had known each other for nearly ten years. He admitted he’d always had feelings for her but focused on medical school instead of dating. Everything changed after one phone call where he mentioned feeling overwhelmed and sick during his residency.
Without hesitation, she drove over twelve hours overnight just to take care of him.
She cleaned his apartment, cooked homemade meals, and helped him recover because he had basically been surviving on vending machine snacks and coffee.
He said that was the moment he knew he wanted to marry her.
Listening to him describe how deeply he loved her made me realize just how much damage my ex and his affair had caused.
We stayed in touch after that.
Every few weeks we’d check in, grab lunch, or simply vent about everything we’d lost.
Then one day he disappeared.
He eventually told me he’d decided to give her another chance because he still loved her and wanted a completely fresh start. He blocked me after that.
Not long afterward, I found out through social media that my ex had cheated on her too.
Apparently that was enough for her to run back to her ex-fiancé.
Months passed.
I focused on therapy, worked on myself, and finally started feeling like I was moving on.
Then around New Year’s, my phone rang.
It was him.
He was crying.
He asked if I could come over because he had nobody else to talk to.
When I arrived, he completely broke down.
During his family’s Christmas party, he couldn’t find his fiancée anywhere. After searching for nearly twenty minutes, he walked into his mother’s guest bedroom and found her having s*x with my ex.
Right there.
In his mother’s house.
Everything exploded after that.
We ended up drinking together.
One thing led to another, and we had revenge s*x.
The next morning he apologized repeatedly, saying he hadn’t been thinking clearly and that sleeping together hadn’t made him feel any better.
Afterward, he blocked me.
I respected his wishes and never tried contacting him again beyond a couple of messages checking on him.
I threw myself back into therapy and focused on rebuilding my life.
Fast forward to last week.
I went to my doctor because I needed a refill for my birth control, which I take to help manage my PCOS. Since I’d also been dealing with painful cramps, they ran a routine pregnancy test before prescribing anything.
I wasn’t expecting anything unusual.
Instead, it came back positive.
I was completely blindsided.
My doctor believes I’m still in the very early stages of pregnancy and warned me there’s still a significant chance of miscarriage because it’s so early.
Now I’m sitting here with information that nobody else knows.
I don’t know whether I should tell him.
I don’t know whether I should wait.
I don’t even know if I want to continue the pregnancy yet.
Part of me feels like he deserves to know if there’s a possibility he’s the father.
Another part of me worries that if I tell him now and I miscarry, it’ll seem like I was only trying to force my way back into his life, especially since he made it very clear after we slept together that he didn’t want any further contact.
I’ve told absolutely no one.
I’m overwhelmed, scared, and honestly have no idea what the right thing to do is.
What would you do in my situation?