AITA for refusing to go on a family vacation unless my fiancé and I are allowed to share a bed?

Because right now… I feel like I’m stuck between paying extra money and accepting rules that make no sense to me.

So here’s what happened.

My brother and I started planning a family vacation — the first one since 2019 where all the cousins (all adults, youngest is 24) could actually go together.

We used to do this every year: rent a big beach house, split costs, and enjoy a proper family trip.

This time, we were looking at large Airbnb houses that could fit everyone comfortably.

During the initial planning call, my mom casually mentioned that she “prefers” that my fiancée (27F) and I (28M) don’t share a room.

At the time, I honestly thought it was just an opinion… not a rule.

So I immediately told her that wasn’t going to happen.

We’ve been living together for over two years, we own a house together, and we’re getting married in a few months. Even on a family cruise last year, no one had an issue with us sharing a room.

So I didn’t think this would become a big discussion.

For the next couple of weeks, we kept exchanging Airbnb options like normal. No one brought it up again.

So I assumed the issue was done.

Turns out… it wasn’t.

Today my brother tells me that my mom has already booked a house.

No discussion. No agreement. Just booked.

When I called her to ask what was going on, she told me very clearly that either my fiancée and I sleep separately… or we don’t come.

I asked why this wasn’t discussed before booking.

Her response? That her “preference” was basically her way of setting expectations.

Which… didn’t feel like a preference at all anymore.

I told her that it wasn’t fair to agree on planning together, take money from us, and then change the conditions afterward.

She said since she booked the house, she gets to set the rules.

I pointed out that we’re still paying our share — around $1200 — so it doesn’t feel right for someone else to control our sleeping arrangement like that.

She said we can still pay, but the bed situation isn’t changing.

At that point, I realized the alternative is a hotel nearby, which is even more expensive — around $1500 — plus no kitchen, more travel, and basically a completely different kind of vacation than what we all originally agreed on.

So now I feel stuck.

The only reason I’m even considering going is my younger brother, who has special needs and is really excited about this trip.

Otherwise, I honestly would’ve just stepped away from it.

My fiancée is willing to adjust for the sake of keeping peace, but I can tell this whole situation is affecting both of us.

What makes it harder is that my parents don’t really support our relationship, and there’s already tension about the wedding.

Now I’m questioning everything.

Because on one hand, it feels like I’m being pushed into unfair conditions.

But on the other hand… it’s still family, and my brother is looking forward to this.

So now I’m stuck wondering…

AITA for refusing to go unless my fiancée and I are allowed to share a room?

Where Did I Go Wrong?

Is this about respect and boundaries… or am I overreacting to family expectations on a shared trip?

Because right now, it feels like no matter what I choose, someone is going to be disappointed — and I’m the one caught in the middle.