Me (36F) and my boyfriend (39M) have been together for about a year and recently decided to move in together. We were both really excited about starting this new chapter.
Last Saturday was our moving day. I was moving into his place, and we needed a moving van, which he offered to drive but I agreed to pay for. The rental cost £250 for the day. Because of insurance requirements, he had to be the one to book it, so I sent him the money to cover it.
When he went to pick up the van, the rental company asked for an additional £100 deposit/insurance fee, which they said would be refunded after the van was returned without any damage. I sent that over as well without thinking much of it.
The move itself went really well, and we were both happy and excited. After returning the van, he told me the process for getting the £100 back would take a few days, so I didn’t stress about it. We spent the next couple of days unpacking and settling in.
Then, a few days later, as we were getting ready for bed, I casually mentioned that the refund still hadn’t arrived yet and suggested we might need to follow up with the rental company.
That’s when he admitted the £100 had actually been refunded to his bank account earlier in the week.
I was confused and asked why he hadn’t transferred it back to me. He got defensive and said it would “just end up being spent on groceries anyway” and questioned why it mattered whose account it went into.
I told him it wasn’t about how the money would be spent, but about the fact that it was my money and I wasn’t even told it had been refunded. That seemed to upset him more, and he raised his voice and said, “Fine, I’ll send it to you,” before transferring it immediately.
Now I’m left feeling confused about the whole situation. I wasn’t trying to create conflict—I just expected to be informed and reimbursed.
So I’m wondering… AITAH for asking for my deposit money back?